I had four sons

Opinion

Posted By Louise Fontaine, St. Jean Baptiste

Updated 1 month ago

My son died today. He took his life. My other three sons and I question ourselves.

Could we have done more to prevent this? Should we have done more to prevent this? Maybe we should have been more aggressive... should of... would of... it's all too late now.

He'd been ill for three years. He heard voices, more than one, and those voices led his life. He was tormented, suffered mentally, beyond our comprehension. We just can't imagine how much.

I called the mental health crisis line three times, so did other members of the family. We got questions like, "Is he talking about taking his life? Did he try to take his life? Do you think he is a danger to himself or others?" How are we supposed to know the answers. He's an adult and we're not with him 24 hours a day. I did tell them that he'd said to me, "This is probably the last time you see me alive" - and it was! But, that wasn't enough either. Where are we to go? Who are we to see? H-E-L-P us, somebody, PLEASE!

If we had proof that he would eventually take his life, we had to go through the judicial system. The police are then called, they pick him up and bring him to a hospital. He is then kept for 48 hours. He is assessed and if they decide he is okay, he's sent home.

Well, I have to tell you, my son was a very clever and intelligent man, could talk his way out of anything, even though he was mentally ill. How can you really assess anyone in 48 hours? Please, someone, tell me, I'd like to know.

More men take their own life than women do, but women talk to one another, confide in one another, console each other and cry together. Where do men get support or any kind of help? It's not out there for them.

Something must be done, something has to change - but when - how?

My one big consolation is that I know my son is at peace, but now…

I have three sons.

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